Please help me. Desperate and unhappy and upset. Am i selfish to want a life. Parents say i'm bad?

I have no siblings. Just me. My partner and I have both been made unemployed within the last month. My partner and I have been together for 9 years. He just heard the news yesterday. I was let go one month ago. We have a bit of money saved luckily but I am a 35yr old female and he is a 52yr old male so we need this money to get on the property ladder. We have been working in different areas that is why we could not decide where to settle. The problem is I live 2 hours drive from my parents. They are both in ill health. My mother has a long term difficult pyschiratic condition and my father has cardiac problems. They are both 70yrs old and live in separate houses 30 mins drive from each other. My fathers condition is under control but caring for my mother is a huge burden for him. She is extremely akward and non compliant and will not comply with her medical team or be happy with any help she is given. She is highly manipulative. She feels it is my job to be 100% able to 'take care' of her and sacrifice my life for her. For years she has hounded me to give up my life and move near her or in with her. She is insanely jealous of my partner to the point i cannot bring him home ever for xmas or any celebrations as she throws very unpleasant tantrums, crying and screaming and being horrible. She seems happiest when causing pain and anguish. I can accept that she is ill and that she is not wired properly and that this is the way she is. However, my father has all sorts of 'rules' for me in 'order to keep her happy'. This mean not telling her if i'm going on vacation (as this results in tantrums from her , as she feels my vacation time should be spent with her) and makes my dads life a misery then. However,he will not come and live with her as he runs his farm 30 mins drive away. His house is not in good condition to live in but he refuses to spend a penny repairing it. My mothers house is not too bad and they sleep in her house. He comes to her at 9pm every night and leaves at 10am in the morning. If she wants to be with him, she has to go down to his house during the day. I go home to her every 2/3 weekends for the full weekend, i ring her 3 times per day and I buy her clothes. All i get in return is abuse from her and hear back nasty tales where she tells neigbours he never sees me or that she doesnt hear from me, or that if i was a good daughter i would move closer to her in the neighbourhood. I did that 10yrs ago, and i had to leave as she wanted me in her house with her. I think i can accept her the way she is but i worry myself sick about my father coping with her. We have organised long term residential care for her (where she stays in a home 4/5 days per week and comes home for weekends or for a week here and there) but she will not take it up. My worry is my father. My partner and I would love to go travelling for 6 months or basically emigrate from this cesspit of a country. However, I'm afraid to go because of my parents. This last few years (and most of my life) i've been caring for them both from afar. I'm there within an hour if they in any trouble. I fear my father may cut me out if I decide to go travelling with my partner. Sometimes i feel life is not really worth living, but i keep going. I have to stay positive. Please advise me re my father. I know mum wont change but he will not commit her to residential care as he is very loyal. Thats his choice but the stress of her causes him to be ill and then i end up with two of them on my hands. I cannot even tell mum or dad that my partner and i are unemployed as he would expect i take mum to my house and care for her for a few weeks. I could do that, and would suffer it, only it would not solve the problem and on top of her being a nightmare, she would be in pieces leaving. Have i a right to my own life? I'm afraid for my relationship? I do not have siblings.